Friday, 30 May 2014

Taking some time out

Well, I don't have much creative to report - or at least, I've not been designing recently - my head hasn't really been in the right place.

About 13 months ago, I was diagnosed with cancer - endometrial cancer (lining of the womb), and on 19th May this year, I had a hysterectomy, as the treatment hadn't been successful.  

This whole situation has made me think more about what I want from life - as the route I had planned (having a family of my own) wasn't open to me any more.  Family wise, I have a niece or nephew on the way in August, so I get to be an auntie, and that will be fantastic; and my husband and I now sponsor a child in Tanzania, so we can help look after someone else's baby.

But the question is, what do I do with the rest of my life?  Although I have a long stint of recovery ahead of me, I have a good job to go back to, and I still have my wonderfully supportive husband by my side, I don't really know what to do past that!

I think the idea of having a completely blank slate in front of me is quite scary... where do I go from here?  I'm still waiting for the results of the tests they'll do on my womb to find out if I need any radio- or chemotherapy, but the thought it is that I won't need it.

It gives me space in my life to pursue my career - do I want to go up the ladder, study, and progress my career, or do I want to follow my creative side, write a book, spend more effort to try to teach beading, and design more?  I don't think I can do both - or at least, not at the same time.

Cancer is scary, it makes you re-evaluate everything.  There are some things I know for sure now though - that I have family and friends who love and support me - more than I ever imagined.  My house is full of flowers and cards, I've had visitors, and been prayed for so much.  I've had so much support - I have no idea how to thank people.

I will be back though - stronger, fitter and better... with more beads, more whimsy, and more rambling; thanks for your patience with this very impatient patient!


  1. Becs, I have a feeling that, with Tim by your side, all things will sort out as time passes. Sending you hugs - have a weekend full of joy and prepare to happily travel the road ahead as you don't know now what adventures lie there waiting for you! Best regards, Jeanne Evans

  2. Sending you much love and light...give yourself time and the answers...the ideas will come whether it's the beads that will start whining for you to pay attention to them or an idea that will spark your muse...or the path your career leads you...The main thing is that you do what's best for you..and if you don't know what that is it's okay you have time to figure it out and a bunch of us zany people to lean on...Much love...Rachel